My Favorite Brother Published A Book And I Helped!

My favorite brother wrote a book and got it published! He drew this cover, front to back, as well as the map and postcard. We collaborated on the non-animal interior illustrations throughout the book. Basically I’d draw the crappy outline, he’d redraw or improve it, then digitally line and shade it. A friend of ours drew all the interior animals illustrations and they’re amazing. I took the author photo as well.

Here's the link to purchase, if you're interested.

If you want to give the author more of the profits, use this:
Create Space

If you just want the convenience, though we lose a little money, use Amazon which will take more of the cut. We honestly don't blame you, so don't feel ashamed. We just want it read (and hopefully reviewed).
Amazon

Goodreads Author Page

Link To Jay’s Tumblr Page
I apologize for the lack of posts there. It’s a working progress.

I'm Not Dead Yet, Perhaps Undead

Though I sure feel like it with this unbearable heat and working on the house repairs.

I watched The Flash season finale. Honestly as much as it pisses people off I'm glad Flash saved his mom. I expect torches and pitchforks now. With how low the last episodes were, it felt like my birthday all over again getting the ending I wanted in the first season all along. I'll get to my Season 3 theories and observations in another post.

After all was said and done, I finally bought my months worth of comics on my pull list and I finally read DC Universe Rebirth #1 beyond all the spoilers and I busted out my neglected Legend Of Wonder Woman run and marathoned it before bed. Tonight I'll read the last three issues of Justice League 3001. I'll admit I've not kept on top of of these two series because of their finite nature and I haven't read any of Waid and Samnee's Black Widow because I never found a first issue in any of my local comic shops so next time I do Amazon (because Ebay failed me hear too) I'll buy it with shipping because nothing else on my wishlist free shipping fulfilled through Amazon matches the lowest price with shipping through individual seller. The perils of liking vintage and out of print books, cd's, records, dvd's and vhs's records like the loser I am.

Quick Reviews

DC Universe Rebirth #1

I'll just say now, that Rebirth exceeded my expectations and it made both of my brother and I cry, especially Wally's arc and the lost love between Ollie and Dinah. Sorry Babs/Dinah shippers. I like where they're going with younger Wally's turn to Kidflash especially in light of him being an actual new character instead of being a repeat of old Wally with a personality change. That bothered me. I loved the Atom and Blue Beetle subplots and yay for Dr. Fate and Johnny Thunder showing up. Even Jay Garrick gets a small blink and you'll miss it cameo where Wally talks about first taking The Flash mantle after Crisis. Even Saturn Girl is showing up in the present. I know Geoff Johns won't be writing a comic for awhile, but I feel optimistic that when he does it will be Society or Legion since no other writer employed by DC apparently cares about them or is trusted to do anything with them.

The three things I don't like, Baby Darkseid and Grail (an unoriginal repeat of Zeus/Zeke raised by Athena/Zola), WWINO's twin and the reinforcement of Azzarello's canon and Little Shit Who Must Not Be Named's decision to form the new Teen Titans.

I don't have problem with either Watchmen or the Three Joker's. I know it's perverse, but come on, a Night Owl/Blue Beetle or Silk Spectre/Black Canary team up are the dreams fanfanfiction are made of. Also if this means we can have one Joker that's classic and didn't either shoot Barbara or skin his face off, I'm happy. Those other Joker's suck and they seem to still exist too, but oh well, you win some you lose some.

Legend Of Wonder Woman # 3-6

Finally we get to have nice things. I've heard the criticisms that Diana doesn't smile. Perhaps that would bother me if I was reading this serialized weekly and I kept it in mind while reading the collected floppies. Honestly it makes sense for a someone who left her island while a political upheaval's going on, is traveling to an unknown land on journey wrought with peril and comes to America thinking her passenger died and is culture shocked, thinks her mom is in danger because a guy with illusion powers has her mom's stuff and then finally enlists into the nurses ward to see the horrors of war to not smile. It makes the first smile earned because of Steve no less.

I love this series. All the little retcons and bigger deviations from Marston are simple and not overly complicated or unnecessary like the Perex reboot, all the expansions included work towards her journey. I love Etta, a loyal true friend with personality and her own dreams and problems modern Wonder Woman is doomed to never have. I love Steve and his comment that he loves to fly, but admits he's not as good on ground when it comes to fighting is adorable. He really is cut from the same cloth as Steve Rogers (without the Hydra shit though, grr...) with a dash of Hal Jordan (not the sexist pig version, writers like to default to). I'm also glad to see Duke Of Deception again even if he looks like a Final Fantasy character (Reno, Axel, any Nobody really, take your pic) combined with Constantine. It's growing on me. Knowing I get to see Priscilla Rich Cheetah in the future has me excited.

Etta mentioning that her little brother's in the Justice Society Fanclub. I doubt that little mention will payoff with how little time's left in the mini-series, but maybe it will play a part in the second series. Just knowing they exist at all in the same universe makes me happy. I want Diana to meet, Jay, Alan and Carter again soon. Those were her real buddies before she was forced to play Robin for Superman and Batman Post-Crisis.

Why can't we have this Wonder Woman as canon and in the shared Universe?

Finally Watched Trumbo

If this is the role Bryan Cranston got instead of Lex Luthor in Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn Of Justice than that's okay with me. I love period piece movies based in old time Hollywood, but as with all biopics and most blacklisting subjects I have to watch it with a grain of salt.

The moment I saw Edward G. Robinson (Michael Stuhlbarg) I let out a groan, because someone always has to be the traitor to the cause in dramatizations. What makes it worse is how they frame it in a deceptive way. Of the four times Edward G. Robinson was called to testify in front of HUAC, it was his fourth time by 1952 that he gave in and named the ten who were already blacklisted so he could clear the air of being a Communist himself. Trumbo had already done his eleven month sentence in 1950. He was only confirming what was already known, not giving new information to light. He wasn't a Communist just because he fundraised with people who were against Fascism. Just as with Humphrey Bogart and John Garfield, Robinson had to clear the air and prove he wasn't in league with anti-American organizations. It's up to you to decide how dirty was Robinson here.

As for the movie itself, forget the complexities. Shit they'll show you how feeble it is if you refuse to martyr and snitch instead. This leads me to the point of how much was Eddy G. a snitch? The transcripts that were reenacted verbatim in the movie are sure framed in a way to set him up as one to the audiences eyes and any made up personal conversation written between him and Dalton Trumbo (Bryan Cranston) there after has to be framed to make you root for Trumbo and pity or have contempt for Robinson. A shameful, missed opportunity there. All so Trumbo can be the bigger man in the end when he makes his last speech in front of The Writer's Guild, while Robinson is oddly enough in the audience. Does that imply the two made up in the end. Why else would Eddy be there than for dramatic license?

It does look bad on Edward G. that he just confirmed names already known and then denounced his former ties to organizations that supposedly supported a totalitarian regime. The true definition of a snitch is someone whose implicit in crimes and dealings with whoever they rat out vs. what John Wayne does and that's target employers and colleagues he wouldn't have hung out with or do fundraising with anyway. When you're Eddy G. and you see the reality of all your colleagues going to jail, jobs drying up, dying, families disintegrating, other friends turning on them, demonized, hounded, and some that comes your way, you might just decide you don't have it in you to be Trumbo and martyr or take the high horse. Not to save your ass or your collections of paintings, but perhaps to protect your family and ability to work, which is more important than your job or public persona in the end. Nope that can't be it can it? Be sure you got a loyal family to risk it all like Trumbo.

I suppose it could be worse, you could be director Buddy Ross (Roger Bart) who disavows Trumbo then comes crawling back to him to fix his screenplay anonymously because his last pictures were crap.

In contrast, John Wayne (David James Elliott) doesn't seem so bad for wanting lenience with denouncers of Communism, while the villainous Hedda Hopper (Helen Mirren) is hellbent on destroying lives with her power of the press whether the the target's remorseful or not. Then of course you got your Otto Preminger's (Christian Berkel) and Kirk Douglas's (Dean O'Gorman) who risk there career for the greater good of giving Trumbo his due.

There's of course some dissent among the family, but they stick it out and from Trumbo's friend and fellow blacklisted screenwriter Arlen Hird (Louis C.K.) a composite character who wants to sue the House of American Activities and dies for his bad habits, while Trumbo would rather win through perseverance and prove to them that they need his services when they vilify them.

Ultimately Frank King (John Goodman) proves to be the neutral party in all this as the foul mouth boss of King Brothers Productions who hires Trumbo and Hird for doctoring and writing screenplays for gaudy B movies. It's pretty cool that he sticks to his convictions of being in it for the money and pussy and refuses to be pushed around by investigators. Louis B. Mayer (Richard Portnow) surprisingly isn't thrown under the bus as much as I thought he would be, casting couch assertions or no, they're said from a power hungry gossip columnist who calls him an antisemitic slur. Here is the closest we get to complexity even though you end up hating Hopper for her blatant racism than you do Mayer for his alleged sleaziness against women.

All in all a decent film, but I'm not happy with how they handled Edward G. Robinson. I guess he had to be the much needed traitor to liberals because Elia Kazan doesn't work thematically and has been played out. Eddy's story is much more complex than Trumbo's assertions that he just wanted to continue to be Beverly Hills bourgeois collecting painting from dead guys or Robinson's point about him being a public face while Trumbo can hide under screen writing. Disappointing and simplistic when you consider the actors who got hounded to death like John Garfield or were never allowed to work again like Lee Grant. The film does try to address that point at the end, but it really doesn't get into the meat of the whole controversy than vague allusions and speeches.

As much as I'm on Trumbo's side for free speech and freedom of affiliation and I hate snitches, as I've said, I don't care for how they frame Robinson as a turncoat who lost his way doing things he wouldn't normally do. It's not really snitching if the crime is on public record and had been dealt with. Political ideals only get you so far until your personal and working life is fucked beyond repair than to play the friendly witness. How many readers out there have to eat shit everyday from a boss who abuses power, but talks a big game of worker's rights? I'm not saying that Robinson is theoretically in the right, nor do I condemn him.*

Notes:

* Maybe I'm biased because I own more Robinson films than any other actor besides James Cagney and Fred Astaire, but John Garfield's my number three favorite actor after James Cagney and George Raft so you know I take the HUAC blacklisting personally as an great injustice. On another note: I also have to point out that while I can't stand John Wayne and Ronald Reagan anyway, that doesn't stop me from enjoying a Walt Disney production or a Robert Taylor movie who are also in league with HUAC or named names because they believed in what they thought was the patriotic thing to do.

This movie was a must for my dad who loved (maybe that's the wrong word, impressed?) by Bryan Cranston's turn on Breaking Bad.

Dalton Trumbo writes in the bath as do I. He had a better system, a board propped on both sides of the tub to place his typewriter on. I used to prop my mini laptop on a food tray on my dry belly, didn't want to press my luck so I've taken to typing on my notes feature on my 1st gen. Kindle. Much like a typewriter, it's not good for going back and fixing mistakes. I'd say they need to make a handheld word processor, but that's what stupid touch screen smart phones and tablets are for and I say bah.

The movie Dalton Trumbo gets his first credit on since the blacklist is Otto Preminger's Exodus. My mother saw it when she was young and talked about a lot and she finally begged my brother to buy it for her for Christmas last year and he did. It's one of the last films she got to see before passing away this year.

Maybe I'm Just In A Mean, Petty Mood

Maybe I’m just in a mean, petty mood, but with all the disappointment in Rebirth it does my heart good that the artist at the little anime convention who boycotted Keith Giffen and JL3001 over an assumption, who was excited for the new Blue Beetle book will in sticking with her social justice principles have to now boycott Blue Beetle because Giffen’s on it baby!!! Almost makes me want to pick it up in support if not for it being ersatz New52 versions of Jaime and Ted.

Since no one has taken my challenge to come up with actual evidence that Keith Giffen is transphobic, I went back and reread the Giffen interviews myself. He states that the Guy in a girl body plot was not meant to be a trans story. I believe him. Re-reading the comics themselves I’ve concluded that Guy before the reveal was portrayed as a man who doesn’t understand what is to be a woman and is misguided with well-intentions to jump on the strong woman, feminist bandwagon. Wouldn’t you if you woke up one day and lost your male privilege and your body is smaller and weaker? Yes estrogen weakens your muscles and ability to lift. I hang out with trans-women who attest to this. When I transition my strength will increase with testosterone. This is why transpeople are banned from the Olympics. Hormone replacement therapy is legally considered the equivalent of taking steroids, fair or not. So Guy not understanding all the bodily and hormonal changes going on with him will naturally act moody, claim sisterhood then realize he said something he has no business saying as a man and try to pass it off as the hormones. No that’s not how hormones work, but he’s set in his ways enough to think that he ought to identify with his physical body even if he knows he has no right because he’s Guy inside and is still a chauvinist and people expect him to be like that. There. That’s the psychology of a stupid body switch plot. I get it. Some don’t because they want to read whats on paper literally without context and wonder why it doesn’t line up to their trans experience, which is valid, I get uncomfortable with plenty of things that were not meant to be geared towards my experiences and I can explain why it bothers me. It’s not the trans journalists and fans that I have an ax to grind with. It’s the allies with their pretend trans friends. No I’m not saying all allies rallying against this story don’t have trans friends, but sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I wonder if certain allies are jumping on the behalf of trans bloggers and activists they read and then try to speak for trans people like me or my associates in the community because they just assume I’m ignorant of my own rights or feelings without ever realizing they’re like Guy Gardner or maybe Keith Giffen and are ignorant of their own intentions and feelings on the situation. I mean I can’t tell people how they should feel about a story, but it offends me when someone assumes Giffen’s intentions because they met him once and he was a jerk so a jerk must be hateful to all outsiders because... because this story is problematic to her social justice sensitivity. Talking about grasping at straws to build a strawman out of Keith.

I had to lose my little niche book outside the new52 so tptb can cater to haters who can’t stand or have any business reading genetic overwrite plots because they insist it has to be an accurate, sensitive trans plot and it better be done with 20th century science because the 30th century fictional science used is too creepy and improbable to relate to. It’s comics guys. Are sci-fi/fantasy writers barred from exploring body switching and genetic overwrite if it’s between a man and woman from here on out until trans-representation is perfected? Or do we ban all portrayals and explorations because it can be problematic with any kind of body shaming or racelifting? If you’re overwritten with the genetics of someone whose basically the same race, gender, height, weight, etc. you’d still complain because it’s personality raping and that’s triggering and insulting to real rape. Alright I agree, but banning story elements is a slippery slope and for twenty shitty portrayals of this theoretical topic their yields a thought provoking one. Just saying. Cloning is offensive to individuality, cell regeneration is offensive to disabled people, so is cyborg stories, so is robots offensive to humankind. Where do we draw the line in what we can and cannot speculate and how we tell it? Okay I’m getting away from the topic.

One things for certain though, whether presumptuous, artist alley girl doesn’t support her favorite character because of Giffen or breaks her pact and picks it up, it’s a victory. A petty, spiteful one. The book will succeed or crash and burn without her support or it will prove her a hypocrite if she picks it up after all.

Zeus Is Why I'm Boycotting Batman Vs. Superman Dawn Of Justice

Reasons I Was On The Fence About This Movie:

1. It comes off the heals of Man Of Steel by the same director

2. It’s inspired by Dark Knight Returns

3. Rumors about Wonder Woman’s parentage

4. Jesse Eisenberg Lex Luthor

5. Doomsday

Things That Made Me Slightly Optimistic About This Movie:

1. They’ll address the moral issues and fallout from the destruction of Man Of Steel

2. The conflict between Batman and Superman would have merit unlike DKR, this time around Batman is law and order, Superman is the misfit.

3. Lex Luthor’s parentage, makes the casting sting less irritating, suddenly it makes sense that he’s a spoiled brat

4. I wasn’t pissed about the casting of Ben Affleck or Gal Gadot, I support world weary Batman and Immortal Wonder Woman

5. Batgirl, maybe

What I’ll never support is a WWINO. Wonder Woman In Name Only. Forget you Snyder, you do one good thing by not making Diana’s arc another naive 19-23 year old, new to man’s world story, but you fucked up when you not only decided to put your stamp of approval on a plot element only 4 years old for newbie theater goers to absorb as the DC mythology, damn 70 years of comics, TV Shows and cartoons, but that this early in the game it is now going to be her defining summary. That’s bullshit. We don’t need a Wonder Woman screaming barefoot that she’s the “Daughter of Zeus!!!” at the top of her lungs as that’s her defining point. Thanks Cliff Chiang for that garbage image. I loved your art until you put it to Azzarello’s script and now I can’t stand to look at it. I bet to really bring it home for the WWINO wankers you’ll have Wondy solve every problem by screaming “I Love Everybody!!!” and nothing real ever gets resolved and nothing ever rings true and morally sound, just like the end of Azzarello’s arc. Just like the end of Man Of Steel.

After reading the reviews, I’ve made my choice. Not going to buy a ticket. Maybe some day when it’s on cable I’ll catch it, but I’m not spending money on a movie that caters to Azzarello and WWINO fans. Same as to this day I won’t watch Antman for catering to alternate universe daughter fans (or fan as there’s only Edgar Wright) at the expense of a founding Avenger literally being put in limbo to be a damsel for alt-daughter to rescue next movie. I probably won’t watch Justice League either for axing Hal Jordan or any Green Lantern as well as using WWINO “Daughter Of Zeus!!!”. Who the hell is Barry going to be besties with, Cyborg so he can pretend to be Wally? Fuck that. As with Marvel catering to Edgar Wright, the DC Movieverse is already off to a bad start, catering to Snyder. Now Jenkins has to clean up his mess. An uphill battle.

For anyone reading this and shaking their heads at what you consider a minor origin change, remember this. Tone. Believe it or not it dictates how her story is told and what their themes are. When she was made of clay and raised by mother who couldn’t conceived and a sisterhood of Amazons, it informed her character. Now her character is defined by who her father is and who her brothers are, and what a liar and conspirator her mother is and how her sisters are two-faced backstabbers or weak willed and jealous or barbaric black widows.

Now that Wonder Woman is daughter of Zeus it suddenly is important to make that be known in her first movie. It’s all that matters and defines her world. Zeus gives her powers. Zeus gives her bad guys. Zeus drives her plots. Suddenly her Amazon training is done through her brother (Ares) whose her grandfather by the way (Hyppolyta’s dad, but Azzarello don’t want you to know that). Her godly gifts weren’t earned they were spermed.

Once it became clear that Wonder Woman’s powers come from daddy Zeus, suddenly that defines her at all times as much as being raised by a bunch of barbaric Amazons that she is somehow born morally superior to. Yes born superior, in spite of being raised by barbarians who hate her, a mother who’s deceitful and for some reason is truly in love with a philandering manipulator because Azzarello just won’t admit that no actually she just wanted to fuck him out of lust becuase he wanted to make clear to critics it wasn’t rape. Just be honest Brian, she was just horny for the most majestic sleaze and didn’t give a fuck about her duties as a Queen of manhating murderers. Dumb hypocrite.

Basically once you change WW’s origin to daughter of Zeus, raised by barbaric Amazons all her stories shift in tone and none of her old classics fit into that world nor will any new classics be made from her old setup unless it’s a digital out of continuity comic, because suddenly all the movies and all the TV shows will want to pretend the WW made of clay, raised by philosophers, artisans, and warriors (not just stone age barbarians), etc. never existed even though there’s tons of old media that contradict it. This isn’t like Batman where you can compromise campy with gritty. He still had parents that were shot dead in the alleyway by a mugger and he still grew up to adopt orphans and fight crime. Flash still had a mother, but now it’s a plot point that his arch-nemesis went back in time and killed her, his adventures as a altruistic crime fighter with two alive parents happened. Not Wonder Woman. The clay’s a lie!!! Her Amazon sisters were always mean and jealous her, but Wondy put blinders on and held an idiot ball, conveniently and willfully ignorant. Never caring or wondering why her Amazons came back pregnant so she can’t find about their murderous deeds and segregation policy. Hyppolyta apparently okaying this and letting it go on yet keeping her own daughter in the dark because she’s apparently the only Amazon who realizes that what she lets her people get away with is wrong when the other Amazons are to far gone to know better. Is it really a wonder the the Amazon sisters killed their sons when Diana brought them back. What did the idiot think would happen? What did Azzarello think would happen when he left this to less competent writers? A better writer would have had Wonder Woman enact brainwashing regimen like the Allies did to Germany. It’s not moral or ideal, but how else are you going to reason with stone age barbarian misandrists who only know that way. Why would the Amazons not murder? Because Wondy as Queen says so? Bullshit. No amount of “I Love Everyone!!!” will break that spell, Wondy. Try again. Try loving submission or put them on a reform, work island. Don’t just lead your Amazonian brothers to the slaughter, dumbass. This is my point. Azzarello left DC Entertainment a crappy Wonder Woman. A Wonder Woman with a legacy of a false victory, reuniting sons with their two-faced mothers who murder their fathers and she lets her own dumbass, selfish father get away with everything. He gets reborn a baby so he never has to face punishment and is put back on the throne. Fuck Zeus! Fuck Black Widow Amazons! Fuck WWINO! Fuck Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice!

Even if Geoff Johns fixed this crap in Rebirth, returning the real Wonder Woman, he still let this get green-lighted on the screen.

Comics: Two Late Reviews And One Non-Review

Honestly who's reading this blog anyhow? I have five followers on tumblr most. I for a brief second had eight because of my one post about The Flash and Green Lantern, but after they saw all the Led Zeppelin gay I think I scared them off and they unfollowed.

Anyone who notices these things will know I haven't updated for awhile. Part of it is that I'm living in a state of zombified sleeplessness that some how makes me less motivated to throw myself out there in the ether.

Quick Rundown of Comic Book Reviews

Justice League 3001 #9

I admit it took awhile to pick this one up. It's cancellation status has made me less driven to get it right away, but I still want to know how it's going to tie up in a clumsy fashion by the end. So I will continue buying it, but I won't be timely about reviewing it anymore.

I don't have a lot of thoughts about this one. In spite of my ambivalence, I'm actually curious about the Legion Of Death. It reminds me how we'll never see the 3001 version of the New Gods promised issues ago. Ariel and Lois are finally in their right bodies. The question I have though, is if Ariel was housed in Lois's body as stated, shouldn't she have been able to use the body or is there something else I'm missing. Did they drug her to keep her unconscious. I vividly remember Bane carrying her body carelessly and admitting he uses the body like a mannequin to keep him company for tea parties. Unless that was a joke to piss of Lois, but he seemed earnest about it. If that's the case would Ariel have been unconscious.

Legend Of Wonder Woman #2

Finally a Wonder Woman comic in the last four years that I can stand reading. I'm glad to find that Alcippe is indeed Phillipus. As my headcanon is her and Hyppolyta are in love, but torn apart by duty, the exchanges between them has more meaning. I'm impressed by the real resentment Alcippe/Phillipus has for Diana. Now it makes sense story wise to do the writing choice of higher ranking Amazons as immortal.

It's impressive that for the most part they manage to write a story of intrigue centered on an isolated island, so far. There's a faction of Amazons who are in league with Ares and want to overthrow Hyppolyta, one of them is her own sister. I think they're establishing Ares as their grandfather. Thank you.

Also Steve!

Black Widow #1

And I couldn't get a ride into town on Wednesday, but it's on my pull list, so I'll get to it eventually.

How the hell did my pull list get so female heavy. Never in a million years when I was first reading comics did I ever think I'd put down the men and actually have a variety of women-led books that weren't softcore. Different times.

DC Releases Underwhelming Rebirth Line-Up

You can read it in the link here

Very underwhelming. Other than Blue Beetle, almost everything announced is already on the stand, some with tweaked names like Green Lanterns, Hal Jordan & The Green Lantern Corps or Batgirl & The Birds of Prey while other revert to their old names like Nightwing or Red Hood & The Outlaws. Otherwise they removed any C-List title like Starfire for new variants of Batman or Superman concepts like The Super Man, Superwoman, or Super Sons, which I suspect is more fanwankery for a certain character I’d want nothing more than to go away forever.

All in all none of it is exciting. I held my breath for nothing. We're still stuck with the crap that is Earth-2 a garbage concept. No main earth Justice Society as hoped. No more Justice League 3001 or 3002.
The days of having that one ongoing title that isn't a digital compilation of short one shots is getting smaller. I don’t have faith that The New 52 Universe can suddenly flip a switch and exude quality. Especially when we have that Flash, Superman and Wonder Woman around. I've already boycotted Batman because of they won’t get rid of a stupid character. I’ve already boycotted Green Lantern when they wouldn't resolve Carol Ferris's murder of Katma Tui. I'm not saying Pre-Flashpoint has to be canon. I don't care that it is, I ask that they stop forcing terrible ideas previous management knew not to touch or reintroducing and botching what was once good ideas or ignoring problems.

As an exercise, I'm going to list three things from five franchises that I'd like to see, but won't. I'm not going to touch Batman (because I only have one wish), Teen Titans/Titans or Superman who's an untouchable toxic mess.

The Flash:

1. Fix the West family. That's right, racelift Iris already. Stop finding new ways to make sure white men protagonists can't have long committed relationships with non-white women. It's an insulting double standard. It's also an odd message that you can be raised by other races, your future in-law can marry outside their own race, but Oa forbid you Barry (or Reed Richards or Ollie) date long term or marry someone outside of your race. Screw you media. Look at it this way. If Iris is black, she can have an adopted white brother who marries a black woman or she can have bio brother that marries a white woman and has Wally. Everybody wins on all progressive fronts.

Speaking of Wally, he needs to age up a bit, hang out with Dick and Roy and have his old personality back. Yes I mean the former nerdy, young Republican small town kid, who outgrew being selfish and started caring about his community. That's the Wally I miss. He doesn't need to be white to have that background. He doesn't need to be pushing thirty and married with children. He can still have a recognizable personality, recognizable interests and friends.

2. Fix Eobard Thawne or lose him.

3. Bring Barry's mother back and get rid of this nonsense once and for all. Please!!!

Wonder Woman:

I could ask for a lot of things about Wonder Woman. I could ask for her immortality and historical status, JSA membership, Donna Troy as a mentored American teen, Steve Trevor, Etta Candy and The Holliday Girls, the campy villains reinvented. You know cool ideas nobody likes to explore, but I'm breaking it down to the bare-bones of what I require in any WW story. This is my litmus test for readable WW stories.

1. Zeus isn't Diana's father or Cassie's, but definitely not Diana's.

2. Diana doesn't date or sleep with Clark ever. Ewww. Enough with the Kevin Smith fanboy fantasies. They suck and don't make for actual compelling stories unto themselves. If we really cared what stupid crap comes out of the mouth a character played by Jason Lee, Jughead would be another gay character worrying about the dating life instead of one of the few ace icons right now.

3. Diana isn't raised by inhuman barbarians and a deceitful mother with a libido problem.

There. That simple. Of course, fanwanker writer's and their pet fetishes and status symbols will insure I'll never pick up a main universe Wonder Woman DC comic. Good luck Batman being the awkward third wheel in the Trinity book.

Green Lantern

1. Carol is punished for all her crimes, or Katma isn't dead. One or the other. If John has to continue being a grieving widow then let him have his confrontation with Carol. Stop acting like everyone's okay with each other and Carol's more moral and more pure than Hal ever was. I think GL: Rebirth should have been Carol's plot. Hal's fine being morally ambiguous with the ends justifying the means. Carol's just a spiteful, manipulative pawn. She fits the Parallax retcon better than Hal does. All Geoff Johns did was lower him to her level and then pretend she never did anything wrong at all. No wonder I can't stomach modern GL stories.

2. Jessica Cruz is forgotten. Sorry as champion of Earth female Green Lanterns, I'm sick of our only viable options being a spoiled bloodline mutant whose uncreative and uses her green skin sex appeal instead of cool constructs or a random girl with fear problems, whose corrupted by trans-dimensional ring. I suppose there's no such thing as a woman candidate with you know actual bravey, willpower and creativity. Then again of course the Power Ring plot is written by the same guy who decided only predatory stalkers or vindictive, scorned women can feel "love".

3. Dump the Emotional Spectrum. 1. Most the emotions listed aren't emotions, they're virtues and sins. 2. Emotions should not be dictated by base human experiences in a franchise of various sentient species. 3. Colors that the human eye can see should not be the ruling dictate of the inner workings of universe full of sentient lifeforms all guided by this principal. There are colors humans can't perceive just as there are ones other lifeforms can't. A franchise dictated by the emotions of ROYGBIV has no room for a character like Rot Lop Fan (a blind lifeform who relies on sound), nor any possible complex alien that can feel things a human can't.

Justice League

1. Have a bigger rotating line up. Instead of the big seven and some occasional pet plot character, use characters that we want to see adventures for, but can't keep a monthly tile, like Martian Manhunter, Starfire, Black Canary, etc.

2. Put Superman and Batman on honorary status so the other four can shine with other fan favorites without a book.

3. Don't go back to the era of strict continuity and embargo restrictions.

Justice Society

1. Don't ghetto them to another Earth on another Universe.

2. Have the original members be contemporary to Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman and Green Arrow, which means those characters should be slightly older (5 years) than the Silver Age generation and 10 years older than the first Teen Titans and 15 years older than Young Justice. Ideally with that in mind, I want Wonder Woman to be a seminal member, but she's too tied up as the token female on the League (or wasted dead on a parallel Earth) for that to happen.

3. No children legacies. You can reinvent both Hourman's as brothers, Rex being older, Rick being younger. Silver Scarab as Hawkman's jealous cousin, Fury as another Amazon, Jade and Obsidian aren't adopted, but separated by divorce and their powers come from exposure to The Green (or starheart or whatever they want to tie Alan's powers in with) and Ian Karkull's shadow radiation.

I think only one thing on the Justice League list will become reality. Either the edict will be Big Seven all the time or all the characters will be divvied up by editorial. So if we lose Batman we're not guaranteed The Flash and c-listers. As for the rest on my list, none will ultimately happen and I'll continue to boycott those titles and they'll continue to service the few who clamor for that crap.